We are too loud, we are too strident. We should protest, but gently, softly. (Not unironically, very much like the sweet, girlish voice of Dr. Blasey Ford, whom they politely pretended to listen to, before ignoring.)
I avoided the #AskELJames Twitter party/skewering, because generally, I don’t “do” Twitter, FaceBook events, and the like, but found myself in some interesting group discussions about it, and her work, anyway. Some female writers I know, along with EL James herself, vigorously deny the reality that, as depicted in Fifty Shades of Grey, Christian rapes Ana.…
Even if you’ve been engaging in foreplay and you’re both stark naked, no means no. Saying yes to flirting, to kissing, even getting naked together, does not mean that the other person is “entitled” to have sex with you.
The tape running in my head, over and over during this time, was, “Remember every detail you can, so they can get this guy,” but somehow, almost nothing stuck. The only detail that burned into my brain was his boxer shorts: light blue, solid, with no pattern, with white trim around the edges.
He became upset that I had bled onto his sheets, because it could get him into trouble. I actually apologized to my rapist because his raping me made me bleed.